Painting
Defining Moments
Mostly freehand geometric abstract in Resene acrylic on hessian.
A mix of dark, moody, hopeful and bliss scattered with a few breakthroughs.
Past.
When our family tattooist put this on my arm, I chose to keep the breakthroughs and leave the rest, yet to be defined.
Future.
Mirror9
Freehand geometric abstract in Resene acrylic on hessian.
Mirrors have taught me everything I needed to know so when I was recreating my self, I asked how I wanted to be seen in the future.
Bold.
Colourful.
Courageous.
Interesting.
Unconventional.
Like Taschen.
It only took a decade.
All that was missing was depth so the blueprints that include black shadow boxes have been drawn up and renovations begin early 2014.
#1/00: PeaceMakerFullCircle
Collection of Leahna Hardie.
Freehand geometric abstract in Resene acrylic on hessian.
Peace Maker was started in Dec 1999 in New Plymouth. It then ran away with me to Wellington for a house sitting adventure that we hoped depression wouldn't gate crash.
At midnight, on the eve of 2000AD as the lights of the fireworks filled the sky like diamonds, I asked myself what I wanted more than anything else for the next millenium. The answer was instantly and emphatically PEACE!!! Then, even though the painting was almost finished, I globbed PEACE from one corner to the next, Then ran down to the waterfront to celebrate. In the elegant white tablecloth I had sewn into a dress. With the jewels that my dear friend Dale had bestowed upon me. Alone. With my Self.
It became PeaceMakerFullCircle after I spent the next ten years making peace with my self and came full circle back to the Big House in Wellington where it was completed.
This piece has been a moving (literally), organically evolving peace. It's lived in cars, under tables, in sheds where it's been rolled up, flattened out and walked all over. It's been given, found its way back then given again. Now, like my self, it finally has a warm, safe, loving home that gets it.
Last 99: Finally
Collection of Artist.
Self Portrait - abstract acrylic on canvas.
Fleeing the mental self-battery, I finally escaped my history to start with a fresh fluorescent-white page in Wellington. My inner tormentor followed but was just as bewildered as I by this new environment so we decided we needed to work together if we were going to survive and spent the next 10 years getting to know each other.
This painting has always hung above my bed and has been the most profound in it's effect on me.
#8: Happiness
Collection of Gillian Clark.
Acrylic on Aunty's paper.
#7: Intrinsic
Collection of Clare ?Freehand geometric abstract in student and house paints on hessian.This was the first painting I did on hessian. I was living with my mother and step-father in their caravan out the back but they were 'up the boohai' whitebaiting. I laid newspaper down on the concrete then carefully unrolled the hessian over top then painted a layer of undercoat. The paint went through the hessian and stuck the newspaper to it, which turned out great for a number of reasons. It made the painting solid and the newspapers gave it historical context so I varnished the newspapers so they wouldn't wear or tear.Jim, my step-father, had brought out all the odds and ends of paint he had so I blobbed them on randomly until it developed the puzzle piece effect then I used my limited range of student paint to go around the edges, giving it the 3d feel. This painting has received the most positive feedback of any of my work. Because it was so big, I worked on it in all sorts of odd places including the lounge floor, where my father walked over it thinking it was a rug.It was exhibited in the inaugural Like Minds Like Mine art exhibition before I donated it to the New Plymouth Opera House (now the TSB Showplace) to hang in the stairwells with my other friends art pieces. Unfortunately it was rolled up in a cupboard for so long that I felt compelled to go and undonate it. The night I redacted it, I gave it to Clare as a housewarming present for her first house.
Years later I ran into an old mutual friend who introduced me to the friends he was with as E and one of the girls (who turned out to be Clare's sister) said "Clare's painting E?!" which let me know she still had it and that it was clearly being appreciated.
#6: Cross Examination
wrong wrong wrong
kiss kiss kiss
sign here and here and here
an illiterate mans signature
at roadsides everywhere
red cross
hot cross
you can't cross here
look around
bargain town
prices slashed to clear
landing pad
I'm getting mad
3 in a row - you win
everywhere
there's a Brian
being cross examined
I gave this one to Jim (after stealing back Heading Home) and he seemed to like it a lot more.
I learned years later, after Jim had passed away suddenly, that he was my step-fathers son. My step-father didn't even know he existed until he saw the death notice. I was just so glad that I had photo's of Jim that I could show him and was surprised that I hadn't seen the connection between them when I was Jim's friend. The similarities between Jim, his father and his two step brothers was uncanny!
#5: A Mere Glitch in the Matrix
#4: Lost
Artists collection
Acrylic on plywood.
This was my lowest point. I had just finished this painting when my friend Stephen, who lived in a house on the hill above my caravan, came to visit. He took one look at it and suggested we'd better go for a walk along the beach.
A few days later I applied to be part of a pilot scheme for treating people with depression but the psychologist said "I'm afraid you're just a bit too depressed for this scheme". Fortunately the walk and talk with Stephen must have broken some sort of grip that depression had had on me because after leaving the psychologists office, I laughed hysterically till tears rolled down my face and my stomach was sore. This was a turning point for me and I realised that I was the only one who was going to be able to cure myself and never went to a doctor or took prescription medication again...
#3: Are we not all searching - Allegorically speaking of course
Collection of Marc ?
Acrylic on plywood.
I was going through a stage of seeing if being a Christian and going to church was an option for me. I was surrounded by Christians and even though they tried their hardest to help me, I just couldn't do it.
I did, however, develop a very meaningful relationship with God that I still have to this day.
I gave this to my friend (and eventual boss) Marc, who was Christian.
I remember the day I arrived at Marc's birthday party and one of the other waitresses at Marc's restaurant where I worked was sitting outside on the front deck with her friends. When she saw me carrying in a painting she said "Oooo - can I see?" Then said to her friends "I always love reading what's on the back of E's paintings!"
I had been questioning whether my artist statement (ramble) could be seen as self indulgent but that comment helped me realise that the statement gave the paintings context therefore I've continued to write on the back of them.
#1/99: But Which Do You Choose? The Hard Or Soft Option?
#16: Say You'll Hold a Place For Me
#17: In Your Heart
Collection of Charley and Gracie Miles.
Acrylic on recycled timber cupboard doors.
It was a beautiful sunny day when I did this. These bathroom cupboard doors came out of an old house I'd helped demolish. I had met Phil Wolf while working in a bottle store in Oakura. He was staying in his campervan on a beach down the end of a country road. Because it was summer, the motorcamp I was staying in was really crowded so I used to drive my car, loaded with my painting gear, and stay beside Phil's campervan.
The first layer of this painting was glitter paint. It reminded me of the carnivals my parents would take my brother and I to every year and I burst into tears because I had never taken, and would never get a chance to take, my own children. I was crying because of all the 'shared bonding experiences' we'd missed out on.
#15: Everything is as it's meant to be
Collection of Glen & Victoria Johns.
Acrylic on hardboard.
This painting was the first of my 'intelligent' paintings where I actually had to think about tactics and techniques.
Numbers 13, 14 and 15 are called the Freddy Faithless Series. That's because I was listening to Faithless non-stop and the night I finished 15, I took an acid trip called a Fat Freddy and had an intensely revelatory night. It transitioned me to a new place and I was ready to leave Oakura and not long after I moved back into Mill Road. But not before I did a few more paintings...
#14: I Am Who I Am (who am I?)
Acrylic on hardboard.
I was at my height of confusion when I did this. It was based around my giving and receiving love but not feeling good enough. I had to reassert myself - that I am who I am and that everyone, including me, had to accept who I was. I was drinking, smoking, tripping and trying to 'fit in' with about 3 different groups of people and thought for a while that I might have multiple personalities. I did The Girls assignment, written about in the Blah Blah Blah journal and found out that it was more like multiple 'moods' and I taught myself to identify them and use them to my advantage.
#12: What You Least Expect - When You Least Expect It
Acrylic on pinex.
Very very long and intense story written in Art Catalogue under Freddy Faithless. Needless to say there are drugs, a man and death involved...
#11: Mountain to Sea
Collection of Marty van Der Fits.
Acrylic on hardboard.
When I was painting this it felt like Mother Mountain with her arm around Child Mountain looking into the sunset. It took me a long time to get the sea perspective and I enjoyed the challenge of using different sized brushes to get the near and far aspects right. Joe kept telling me to leave it but I knew I had to keep working it. There was no room in our studio because Joe and Steph were working in there so I was painting this on the mantlepiece in the lounge. When I finally finished it I was so excited I yelled out to Joe and Steph to come see.
I'll always remember Joe saying with deep meaning "Congratulations!"
I'm not sure why I gave it to Marty. There were a couple of instances where I gave my paintings away to both show that I cared for a person but also to seek their approval. I learnt that lesson well with Heading Home (below)!
#10: Heading Home
Collection of Sherryl Kielly.
Acrylic on hardboard.
I initially gave this to my friend Jim but I could tell he didn't really get anything from it. One day I went around to ask if I could borrow it to put in an exhibition and he said "If anyone wants to buy it, tell them I would be VERY negotiable". That really hurt my feelings so I never gave it back to him.
I gave it to Sherryl, not only because she absolutely loved it, but it suited her house and its colours.
Everyone said it looked like sperm and I always wondered if it might make a good print to sell to a gynecologist - like a subliminal manifestation of fertility.
#8: The Earth Laughs in Flowers
Acrylic on Pinex. Hated it and painted over it. We had exhibited at a Car Boot sale, a Craft Show and a Multi Ethnic Extravaganza by this stage but with no sales. We were getting a bit despondent ;-)
#7: I Did It My Way
Acrylic on Pinex.
My first 'bigger' painting. Joe had been telling me how I should and shouldn't do things so this painting and the name was a succinct bird! We were listening to Gypsy Kings at the time and they did a version of Franks song. I loved this painting and it was the precursor of my later geometric style but it got damaged in one of my moves. I tried to patch it up but it never looked the same.
#6: Underbelly of Man
Acrylic on Tongue and Groove door.
I loved the dark moodiness of this painting. By now there were four of us who used to paint in the spare room at Mill Road - Joe Kirkup, his daughter Imogene Peters and a friend Stephane Cabrera and myself. We were called the Life is Good Collective.
We had a huge exhibition at the XBar and sold two paintings. I regretted not taking an image of the exhibition - it was really impressive.
Underbelly got painted over by Stephane because they had run out of boards one day when I was working and Joe told him to paint over it. I was really annoyed but didn't say anything. Afterall - I was the fledgling and they were so experienced.
'Rave in a Woolshed' was the outcome by Stephane.
#5: Go With the Flo
Collection of Bobby Joe Reid.
Acrylic on Auntys paper.
#4: Heat Waves Rock Mountain
Acrylic on Auntys paper.
Steve, my boss at the Burnt Toast where the exhibition was on, wanted to give his parents one of my paintings to take back to Australia with them so we did a contra deal. I was poor and hungry so he gave me a $200 tab. That's how I was able to treat your Mum and Dad to lunch for christmas that year ;-)
#3: Flax Mountain
Collection of Adrienne Gorry.
Acrylic on Auntys paper.
I had this framed and gave it to Adrienne in appreciation for her support. This was by far the most popular piece. I had no choice but to have an exhibition at the Burnt Toast where I worked when another artist I had organised fell through. One of the four jobs I had at the time was working at the bottle store down the road and one day, one of the dish washers came down to ask me if I wanted to sell this painting. I said no, that it was already in a collection, as it said on the label. Later a woman rang me and said she would pay whatever I wanted for it - that she had been looking for a 21st present for her son for 9 months and she had to have it for him. I reiterated that it wasn't mine to sell. She got really annoyed with me.
Later that day when I went to work at the cafe, the boss told me that the four ladies (including the one who rang me) sitting at the table the painting was hanging above were arguing about who was going to buy it.
#2: Cold Blue City at Sunrise
Collection of Sean Morrison.
Acrylic on Auntys paper. (Refer Recipe Journal)
#1/98: Pollution Seeping Sneaking In
Acrylic on Auntys paper. (Refer to Shopping Journal)
Universe
Collection of Megan Moir.
Acrylic. When I got back from Queenstown, I applied for the benefit. My case manager was a wonderful woman named Adrienne Gorry. I had done 4-5 pencil sketch portraits as well as the images below which I needed to show her in order to get the benefit.
One day she turned up at my door with a 'donkey' (painting box) and oils and paintbrushes and pads that had belonged to her favourite Aunty who had passed away. I was speechless and still have the donkey today.
Universe was my very first painting. It's acrylic on one of the sheets of Auntys canvas like paper. (Refered to in Blah Blah Blah Journal)
Klimts Fulfilment
Collection of Lizzie Brouwers.
A pencil and crayon interpretation of Gustav Klimts Stocklit frieze original.
I was extremely poor and anemic and Lizzie would cook me dinner often. I really loved going to her place because it was a large open plan Lockwood that always had a fire on. I think she was of dutch descent and had a lot of European type hangings and artifacts around the house. She always had the most interesting and sometimes eccentric house guests and the interactions always felt so meaningful.
I gave her this piece in appreciation of how she helped me feel like a 'regular person'.
I ended up selling her some of my furniture as my finances got worse...
Me Wee Hoosie
Collection of Gillian Clark.
Silver gel pen on black card.
I wish these images were better ;-(
The title Me Wee Hoosie comes from a Readers Digest book I read when I was a kid. It was based in Wales and that's what they called their houses.
When I got back from Queenstown, to my little house in Mill Road that I shared with my mother, I went around and did a mosaic of its contents. There are a lot of things on this picture that I still have, even though the house is long gone and my mother has been living with my step-father, Jim, for years.
There's the window in the door of the cupboard, my bracelet I still wear, the owl I made at high school, Grandad and Granny Lefevers kettle and Lexicon, the brass Buddha (in the photos section too). I had the outline of the candle cut out of the frame because Mum and I always had candles going at night.
I gave it to Mum for Mothers Day 99
Queenstown Final
Artists collection.
Silver and gold pens on black photo album card.
I was hitch-hiking around the South Island in the middle of winter by myself. I had started a diary but words weren't really doing it for me so I started doing mosaics of everything around me. I ended up in Queenstown and where the others look like doodles, this one just fell together in an uncanny way. I looked at it and thought 'I collect art, I like this, I would buy it' then it occurred to me that I may just have a bit of artist in me.
I called my brother, Paul, who was working on an oil rig out the back of Taupo and he had the cook drive into town and put $500 in my bank account so I could fly home and start painting - which I did the next day.
After I framed it, I sent it to the guy I was staying with in Queenstown to show my appreciation for his kindness and in honour of the significance of my time there. A few years later he sent it back to me. He was going overseas indefinitely and said I may as well have it back. I always appreciated his thoughtfulness.
