![]() You'll very rarely see the words Warm and Character Home in the same sentence so, sitting around my character apartment all day every day writing, I really feel the cold and if anyone were to visit unannounced, I would probably answer the door wearing my old green bathrobe with a hot water bottle shoved down the front. (What's under the bathrobe will depend on whether the visit is to the left or right of midday). So today I got my brave on and texted the owner of the building to see if he would consider putting in a heat pump. Because his offices are right behind my apartment, and because he's so responsive and, in the past, has knocked on my door rather than text me back, I kept my bathrobe on but I did tidy up my hair, just in case. Fortunately (for him) he called instead. As I anticipated, even though he agreed the place would benefit from a heat pump, it would need to wait till he won Lotto.
It took me a year of scouring the To Let ads daily to find this place. It's one of the pleasures that makes being unemployable enjoyable but it's not just the space, it's the people. The landlady runs a store downstairs and I sublet the upstairs apartment from her. Between her and the building owner, I couldn't have two more laid back yet respectful and thoughtful people who also work on either side of me so that I feel not only safe but it makes it impossible to become a complete hermit. The building owner, as he always does, asked if I had found work. I admitted that I hadn't, because I couldn't do my usual work due to my sore arm, but that I was writing and had submitted a book of quotes to publishers. Naturally he asked what I write about and for want of a better explanation, and suspecting that the longer, more accurate answer wouldn't go with his morning coffee, I said that I would loosely call it 'philosophy'. Earlier I'd been injecting myself with my daily dose of TED and stumbled on this fascinating talk on How To Spot A Liar. Now, brand E is about integrity and truth and I like to think that I'm one of the most honest people you'd ever meet, often to my detriment, but after watching the talk, I wandered around analysing myself to see how accurate that view was. Being honest about my day to day ins and outs, feelings and emotions, history etc is really easy for me. It's one of the first skills I had to teach myself in order to be my own therapist all those years ago when I started peace negotiations with the depression that held me prisoner. I even have a see-through hand bag - that's how transparent I like to be. But after my conversation with the building owner, I felt like I'd lied. Granted, it wasn't the time or medium, and I don't know him well enough to confess that I process overcoming mental illness and addictions etc, but it did make me realise that I'm going to need to develop a clear description for the next time, because it's not the first time in the past few weeks that I've been asked that question. As a creative, I won't even lie eloquently, but I realised that I use my way with words to make the truth more comfortable for people to be in the same room with it so, according to Steve Jobs Seven Secrets To Success I just need to define my dream, write a twitter post sized job description, master that message then sell it as an insanely great experience. I could be a while...
2 Comments
j
13/8/2017 08:19:53 pm
one of the first things I wrote of my observations was the image of walking the footpath and passing neighbours and greeting each one according to the image I believed they had of me. I still do it and I am aware that it is the fear of rejection that prevents me from being confident about how I perceive myself. Is it dishonest though? Anymore than a chameleon is dishonest? It is self-protection that is useful is it not? I believe the word philosophy means the love of knowledge. It seems to me you love to understand people and that is an important form of knowledge. You study yourself and that is an important form of knowledge. We know without doubt that mental illness still has a stigma, a subtle reaction, a withdrawal or barrier - so it needs to be introduced into a safe environment. when useful and appropriate. I think referring to your writing as philosophy is accurate - its just not old and dusty!
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Pimp My Attitude
You need to know, right now, this is all about me. I'm not educated. I don't have any (non-driving related) qualifications therefore, I'm not about to tell you what you should do - I know my place.
And here you are. At my place. So - welcome. If you're here for 10 seconds, I won't even know so I won't be offended that you left early. If you're here for hours and keep coming back, I will consider you a friend because the only thing my diverse yet loyal friends have in common, and what I appreciate most about them, is that they just keep coming back.. Archives
September 2020
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